Lately I have been looking up Type 1 diabetic blogs to read and follow. Reflecting on that practice, I am really not sure what has really driven me to do this. I have had diabetes for almost 24 years now. Never before have I really felt the need to reach out and be a part of the public "diabetic community." I am not really sure if what I seek is acceptance...unity...together-ness...nodding my head in agreement at their posts about being a Type 1-er...hmm.
I think, the older I have gotten, the more acceptance I have given the disease and its part in my life. I have decided not to be secretive about it, and to share about it whenever asked. Man, I used to hide it from the WORLD. Every blood sugar test, every shot, every EVERYTHING - even treating lows at past jobs and at school - I would wait until I was alone so I could quickly take care of myself so that no one else would see to ask me about it - or make fun of me (shout-out to all those horrible elementary schoolmate haters I had back then)- even if that meant waiting for sometimes long periods of time until I took care of myself. Dangerous, but that was my life years ago. (honestly, probably grade school through my first year of college to tell you the truth...).
After watching some of my other slightly older diabetic pals test openly in restaurants, bolus at the table, give shots at the table and out in the open; I have become much more bold because of their positive influence (whether they know it or not) and my decision to not care what others thought anymore, and focus on doing what I needed to do to take care of myself. I remember feeling horrified when I saw them whip out their meter or insulin supplies while out in public, looking around to see any (mostly imaginary) reactions of other patrons. I look back and laugh - why did I care so much about what complete strangers thought of me?!
Sidebar - Actually, recently, my friend was testing her blood sugar and another table over made a couple of comments to themselves, within our earshot. I think something to the effect of, 'Ugh - they must be diabetic!' We just shook our heads at the plain ignorance of others and went on with our evening.
I think having a pump really helps with some of that. I know I am still fairly new to it, but man, does that take some of the awkwardness out of things when all I need to do is un-clip it from my pocket and hit a few buttons! I was so proud to tell my coworkers about it and then show it off as my badge of honor when I was finally "hooked up."
I like being asked about my diabetes and getting to do a couple things:
1. Set the record straight. All too often people get incorrect information from, well, everywhere. I get to explain the cause and effect relationship and how things pertain to me, my ways and my lifestyle.
2. I get to teach them. I think a larger part of me than I have been able to take ownership of really likes teaching people things. I like getting a chance to inform them because it lets me know that they care enough about me and my diabetes to ask how it works the way it does and why. It is interesting to see the way that certain people that have asked me react after I get done talking to them about it. I get a lot of "man, that sucks." But does it? Well, duh, yeah it isn't a picnic, but after having it for so long, it has become almost like adding another "brushing your teeth" segment to my life. Hmm - maybe if the toothbrush occasionally stabbed you or caused you to feel like crap due to no fault of your own...okay, maybe I need to work on that analogy, but you get my drift, right?
I have pretty consistently been a huge advocate for Camp Needlepoint and the ADA's Walk for Diabetes every year (um just ask anyone who has ever asked me about camp before...THEY'LL tell you...HA!). I owe a lot to that place, those people, the things I have learned and relationships I have built there. I feel the need to tell all diabetics everywhere about camp and to somehow, ensure they can get the chance to feel some of what I have felt (and still do) when I go to camp. They can't give me a megaphone big enough! Speaking of camp - if you live in/around the Twin Cities, or western Wisconsin, you should totally apply to work out at Camp Needlepoint, in Hudson, WI for a little bit of time this summer! Let me tell you - you will not regret it. Check out this link for more information about Camp Needlepoint, or a camp that might be in your own back yard! And no, you don't NEED to be a diabetic to participate - but just know...we might come stalk you for your fully-functioning pancreas! Dun...dun...DUNNNNNN! haha just kidding...kind of...okay, we won't REALLY steal your pancreas.
http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/parents-and-kids/ada-camps/?loc=DropDownIMC-camp
-LD
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