"Your Position Has Been Eliminated."

that phrase has got to be one of the hardest phrases to hear after pouring your heart, soul and talents into a company for almost 6 years.

On Friday I was admitted into the league of "The Unemployed." It was the first time that I was "eliminated" from a place of employment, and to be honest, it was quite the double-edged sword. I think I now know how an addict feels after going through "the steps." Right away I was shocked, then horribly sad, crying, etc. Then I was scared, MAD, then a peace and general sense of happiness set in. I am still riding the waves of more happy than sad. I am mad at certain individuals at my former work place because the most maddening part of all of this, that others can attest to: it was not me, the reason I was let-go. Basically, from my perspective, my new boss did not like me or my co-worker before me, whom she also had fired earlier this year in January. After that firing, my new boss brought on one of her older co-workers and FRIENDS to fill the position. I know that she had just hired another one of her former co-workers and FRIENDS for another "made-up" position that was not, to my knowledge, even posted on our career part of the website. She starts at the end of the month.

So, for the first time since high school, I find myself without employment. What a weird feeling. Last night, while getting ready for bed, I did not have to set my alarm, pick out an outfit or anything. I am a free bird. I could be in my pajamas all day, or having a beer right now and not even think anything of it. And you know, I just might...to the second part, not the first part - gross.

I have also been pleasantly surprised by my friends and coworkers whom have left comments on my Facebook page, or the emails that have been trickling in after they realized I was no longer with the company. Some of them have been through the same thing, others, offer words of encouragement.

There are going to be a handful of individuals who I am really going to miss seeing and interacting with every day. They are the ones that made the last part of my time there so much more bearable.

But the planner in me perseveres! I already have a small notebook at the ready to jot down something in or around the house that I would like to accomplish in the near future. I am already onto my second or third page! So, between job-hunting and checking-off my to-do list, I should be fairly occupied for awhile.  I just have to remember to pace myself!


-LD