I look around at some of our friends recently and, really, it just doesn't seem to be fair. Luck is with them all the time, no matter how much they "mess up," or get into something that seems too far over their heads, they end up getting helped out of it by someone else, or things just happen to magically work out.
There are others who seem to have their lives virtually "set." They have the house that they will grow old in and both have stable incomes for both of them in the household. While I still feel like we're in limbo, I am sure that has to do with the fact that we have only been married for a couple of years and Derick doesn't have a stable job yet. I am looking for his "break," for our lucky streak to hit, but it gets hard when things have been hard for so long. Money is stressful. It feels like I am counting the pennies in my bank account and then watching as they suddenly all fall through the cracks when it is time to pay the bills.
I am a big fan of making my own mistakes and learning from them - and this is one that I have learned from doing some of the things we did do with our money when I bought the house and after we got married...
- Bought a house that was at the high end of our budget and not really budgeting and accounting for the fact if Derick did NOT have a job (we never thought that would be possible).
- Do not put all of the furniture you buy at one time on your credit card and scoff when the sales person offers no-interest financing for one year.
- Live with the furniture you have for the time being. Eventually you will get the things that you need/want, but don't rush out and get everything. Limit yourself to the basics, even though it seems like a ton of fun to set up your first real place.
- I will never be "house poor" again - limiting the house mortgage payment to under one week's salary for the entire household income.
Thanks for letting me complain and express my discomfort with life right now - if anyone is reading this. I don't think many people do, but that brings me to another point. I am thinking of cancelling my blog all together. I am not sure how much good it is actually doing me right now. We'll see. I used to hand-write in a journal all the time in grade school through high school. I ended up tearing up and burning and recycling all of them except a few of them before I moved out of my parent's house. It didn't make much sense to hold onto those things anymore.
I will give notice when and if I choose to quit the blog-mosphere, but for now, I carry on.
-L
4 comments:
I read it! ;)
Also, when you get that green eyed monster, just remember that you can't always tell what's going on behind closed doors. I remember once feeling like we must be doing something totally wrong after coming back from a friends house that was 10 times nicer than mine.
About a year later I found out theyb drained they drained their 401k to make payments and were virtually broke. Live life small now and it will pay off in spades in the long run.
I love your new layout!
I get the green-eyed monster a lot, and believe it or not, sometimes you guys are my target! I love where you live and the area! It's wonderful!
It's so easy for us to look at other people and want what they have and wish we had it just as easy! We're looking at getting a house (i'm sure you know) and it's stressful. We want it so bad, but we just know in our situation, we don't want to be strapped.
Just feeling your situation and wanted to let you know!
Hey, this is Kelly! I read all the time, and I'm miss you...miss you...if you depart the virtual world forever.
When you're feeling bad, try and remember that when you and the hubs are celebrating your 50th you'll look back and smile at these first years. You won't believe how poor you were and how much closer your early struggles made you both. I hear all the time from my parents how they survived on peanut butter and instant pudding the first years of their marriage.
It's the only thought that got me through the year of Easy Mac in a teeny apartment in Vermont. My life was limited to only two windows, brown shag carpeting, one closet in the living room, and a toilet in the kitchen. No one should be able to bake and pee at the same time.
om man, you guys made me laugh! and nod, all in the same moments.
It just feels like sometimes you are the "only one" living like you are. Thanks for the perspective Liz - I hadn't really thought too much about that.
Jenny - I TOTALLY know what you guys mean - and sometimes you guys are my target! But you are welcome any time, and if you want a night out with the hubby - and a babysitter, let me/us know! I would love a raincheck!
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